Tick tock goes the clock…

Well, today I picked up Jerry Stahl’s book Plainclothes Naked. I’m only on like page ten and it’s already hilariously deranged and that oh-so-evil kind of brilliant. I really enjoyed his novel Perv – A Love Story and I hope that this will be just as good. Here’s the back cover synopsis:

In a wildly careening plot that can only be described as crack noir, two pipeheads accidentally steal a photo of George W. Bush’s presidential package and decide to blackmail the Republican party. Before the crack-crazed thieves can follow through, however, gorgeous whip-smart Nurse Tina, who’s just offed her husband with a bowl full of Drano-laced Lucky Charms, absconds with the goods. When Manny Rubert, a scarred ex-junkie turned codeine-popping detective, is called in to investigate the “foamer” hubby’s untimely demise, love hits him like a wrench to the head.

Soon Manny and TIna are making plans of their own for the presidential pic – and for their future together. But the meddling police chiefs and motel room sex-change surgeons of the world just won’t leave them alone. And then there are those killer crackheads, still out there and closing in….

I also need to finish Chuck Palahniuk’s Lullaby. I read Choke and loved it but this one I’ve put down more than once. I almost picked up Beautiful Monsters today but decided against it. I also didn’t choose The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon. A Pulitzer Prize-winning novel that reads well, from what I read, and I put it back. I’ll give it another whack some time soon. Oh, and although I’ve abhorred all of his novels, since all they are is a cop/detective/writer/college professor on the run from a/an evil presence/killer/monster/cult/scientist, I’m going to give Dean Koontz’s Odd Thomas a try. You’ve got one last chance Dean…prove me wrong.

The DNC… it was masterful…what more can I say except if you vote for Bush this November you must have, to quote Janeane Garofalo, “a character flaw”. Now onto the RNC which will be like swallowing an epicac after enjoying a hearty beverage. Real Time with Bill Maher was also quite good on its return tonight. Bill’s guest were Michael Moore, former Canadian prime minister Kim Gordon, and Rep. Dave Drier (R). He also had Andre 3000, the governor of Colorado on, and Ralph Nader (Bill and Michael actually got down on their knees and pleaded Nader not to run). Drier took off his gloves and he and Moore went at it, much was made of Bush’s reaction (or lack therof) in that classroom on 9/11. I noticed Drier was gone from the set when the usual handshake exchanges were made at the end of the show.

If The Village turns out to be a) they’re all dead or b) they’re all hateful bastards who kicked out other villagers and *THEY’RE* the real evil ones, Mr. Shamalyan will be getting a swift kick in the bottom from me. I usually side with Ebert which means that his views on films are usually shared by me and he gave this thing one star. I’ll be seeing it tomorrow so I’ll post a review sometime this weekend. I also need to watch the original 1962 version of The Manchurian Candidate that’s sitting in my room waiting for me.

The season premiere of Dead Like Me re-aired tonight. It was a very enjoyable hour. So please go buy or rent season one. It’s out on DVD. Head over to http://www.sho.com/deadlikeme for all your yummy Dead Like Me needs. No, I’m not a paid MGM or Viacom whore. I take cash from hobos who filter rubbing alcohol through burned pieces of toast behind greasy diners where they write your order on those green Guest checks, thank you very much.

Alright it’s 5:09 and I need to count some sheep. So sleep tight out there and have a great Saturday. I’m going to try my damnedest to and I’ll be back later…aren’t you excited?…with more thrilling misadventures and daring tales of suspense. Or maybe I’ll just blog again.

Off to watch the Firefly DVD box set,


"The universe was cocking its fuck-with-me g…

“The universe was cocking its fuck-with-me gun.”

Coffee. It’s good stuff it is.

So work went swimmingly. Alot better than it’s gone in the past. One of our assistant managers will be heading off to greener pastures at Barnes & Noble. As I am to movies, she is to books and we’re all happy for her yet sad to see her go. She is a truly wonderful employee and will be greatly missed. Good luck, J!

Next month will mark four official years of service in the video rental/retail industry. A year and a half at Movie Gallery, and two and a half at my current employer. All the wonderful, amusing, bemusing stories of wit, wonder, and weirdness. I should write a book.

And now for my own bemusement, a poll…should I watch CQ, Cherish, The Dreamers, Lost In Translation, Love Object, Robert Altman’s 3 Women, or The Cooler?

So it’s Barack and Reagan, Kennedy and Heinz-Kerry tonight. Apparently Hannity was on Franken’s show today. Have to listen to the archive at airamericaplace.com sometime soon. Speaking of everyone’s favorite liberal radio network, they have a brand new spiffy web design on their site. Check it out, won’t you, at airamericaradio.com (This PR pitch brought to you by an unpaid unabashed liberal radio whore.) Mike Malloy’s show starts August 2nd, 10PM-1AM ET. He’s a firebrand from what I hear.

Michael Moore will be screening “Fahrenheit 9/11” at the high school football stadium in Crawford, TX tomorrow at 9PM. Have fun everyone!

“Dead Like Me” Season 2 started Sunday night. Our digital cable is unavailable at the moment ($$$) so we’ll have to settle up soon. The shows will be on Showtime On Demand until the end of November and I’m anxious to see what they’ve got planned this season. I truly wish Bryan Fuller (“Wonderfalls”) would have stayed on as executive producer. After all he created the show! Hopefully the snarky tone will remain. And dammit, let’s let George get laid! She’s 18 (maybe 19 this season), working hard out there reaping the dead and all. She deserves it!

More later from the blogger known as I,


DNC Night One

I’m watching Ron Reagan on MSNBC’s “Convention After Hours”. They just ran an interview he did with Michael Moore and now he’s talking about “Fahrenheit 9/11” with Joe Scarborough. Joe actually appeared on “The Majority Report” earlier this evening. In other news, Michael Moore will be on O’Reilly tomorrow in a taped interview. He’ll also be on Leno Thursday (I’m a Letterman fan, but TiVo is the goodness). Al Franken will be on Letterman August 2nd; Ron Reagan will be on Leno the same night.

Decisions, decisions…

Don’t forget about the return of “Real Time with Bill Maher” this Friday at 11PM on HBO. We’ve gone far too long without Bill on the air. Set your TiVos/VCRs/8-tracks accordingly.

Man, was that a barnburner or what? Gore started off, strong and vibrant. Carter came out, guns a-blazin’. Hillary was eloquent and well-stated. Then, Bill Clinton came out and the place went crazy. What a terrific speech. Now there are a few things Clinton did that I didn’t like (Federal Telecommunications Act, I’m looking at you!), but that was one of the best political speeches I’ve heard. He was decisive, focused, had clarity, and made damn sure you knew where the Democrats stood.

Here are the speeches, for your enjoyment:

Al Gore


Jimmy Carter


Hillary Rodham Clinton


Bill Clinton


Tomorrow’s schedule includes Ron Reagan and Barack Obama, a guy I’m greatly interested in hearing. I can’t wait for Reagan’s speech on stem cell research. My great-grandmother suffered from Alzheimer’s in her later years and he’s doing a great service by bringing attention to this science and calling for more research and development on this technology.

And now for something apolitical…X-Entertainment has always been a great source for reviews of kitschy ’80s remembrances, be it a movie review of the 1988 McDonald’s commercial-as-movie Mac & Me or an attempt to bake a cake in an ALF-shaped mould, it’s a great way to spend some time.


I’m headed for slumber and might be posting something before work…if I can get my ass up in a timely and coordinated fashion, that is. Nite all… Jason