Fuck The Sopranos…

and The West Wing and Frasier and Friends and Sex and the City and all of those other bullshit shows who don’t deserve a goddamn thing and get nominated over and over and over and over again each FUCKING year at the Emmys. It’s insipid banality! Give it to Amber Tamblyn for her terrific work in Joan of Arcadia, hell even Jennifer Garner for Alias. At least Arrested Development has won two Emmys (“Best Writing”, “Best Directing”), the same for the excellent, dead-on comedic gold that *IS* The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I hope Arrested Development wins Best Comedy Series, but lameness permeates the Emmys every year so they won’t. But hopefully the vast critical acclaim and two Emmy wins tonight will give FOX pause and the show will be with us for many years to come. It is without a doubt the funniest series on television, bar none.

*YAWN* Oh sorry, Sarah Jessica Parker just won an Emmy. I was so enamored my jaw unhinged, I guess.

Anyway, let’s see what’s going on, shall we?

Macaulay Culkin Arrested

http://tinyurl.com/4ylpy

My mother and I went out to eat at the just-opened-in-Savannah Mall Texas Roadhouse last week; basically a cheaper version of Logan’s Roadhouse. Pretty damn good food. And Target opens on October 5th! Yay! A few days later, we ate at go fish, a local semi-classy seafood restaurant. We both had the tilappia. It was encrusted with a breading that made it not taste like fish and it was topped with sliced strawberries, served on the side with a wonderful Frangelico sauce. Now we don’t eat out alot so don’t go thinking that we’re nomadic restaurant-goers. But the food was enticing and terrific.

I saw Before Sunset Thursday and Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow tonight. Before Sunset was wonderful, a beautiful, lyrical poem that expands on the original film and yet manages to be its own entity. Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow was a total and utter blast. It makes you feel like you’re ten years old again and fills you with an incredible sense of wonder. Halfway through you go, “Wait a minute! These sets are CGI!” At least if you’re not a cynic you will. It was a breathtaking adventure and a truly original movie. If you have any imagination and love a good thrill-ride, then please go see this movie. Four stars all the way.

TV unveils its Fall 2004 season a bit more this week:

Monday

CBS premieres the Jason Alexander-starrer Listen Up

UPN premieres the sitcom Second Time Around

Tuesday

ABC premieres the sitcom Rodney

UPN premieres the dramedy Veronica Mars (which I’m looking forward to)

Wednesday



ABC premieres the J.J. Abrams (Alias) series Lost



The WB premieres The Mountain

My dilemma: Should I TiVo Smallville‘s season premiere or Lost? Decisions, decisions…



Thursday



Nothing

Friday



ABC premieres the Mel Gibson-produced sitcom Complete Savages



And Joan of Arcadia returns for its second season! I’m looking forward to seeing how Grace and Joan’s brother are dealing with their new relationship.



Other series I’m looking forward to: FOX’s House (about a doctor and his staff of dysfunctional aides), Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane’s American Dad, NBC’s thriller with Patricial Arquette, Medium. FOX’s The Inside and Jonny Zero seem cool and there are a few others I’ve got my eye on.

*AWESOME* Emmy news!!! Arrested Development won “Outstanding Comedy Series”!!! Take that, overhyped lameness like Will & Grace and Sex and the City!!!!!

This week’s DVD releases include Mean Girls starring the breathtaking Lindsay Lohan (which the brilliant Tina Fey of SNL fame wrote), Jim Jarmusch’s indie film Coffee And Cigarettes (which I need to watch the screener DVD of soon), and the DVD premiere of the butchered Star Wars Trilogy. Thanks but no thanks, Bearded Flannel Man! I’ll keep my 1995 THX-remastered VHS versions! Ass…

This weekend at the cinemas, Julianne Moore struggles to figure out why everyone around her says that she has no son and why soon after this startling revelation even her husband cannot remember her. The movie is The Forgotten and I hope it’s a great start to the fall movie season. And then there’s this little gem from the UK that I’ve been dying (no pun intended) to see…

I CANNOT WAIT for this movie! This will be the first release by Rogue Pictures, the new genre arm of Universal’s indie arm Focus Features. (http://www.focusfeatures.com) Their second release will be another film I’m looking forward to, Seed Of Chucky. How can you not like these movies? And John Waters plays a sleazy paparazzi? C’mon, you know you’re there!

Shaun Of The Dead – http://www.shaunofthedeadmovie.com

Seed Of Chucky – http://www.seedofchuckymovie.com

October 1st brings us David O. Russell (Three Kings)’s I Heart Huckabees. It stars Jude Law (who’s in 75 movie this fall and winter), Mark Wahlberg, Jason Schwartzmann, Naomi Watts, Lily Tomlin, and Dustin Hoffman. It’s a darkly comedic tale about existentialism and thus will only be enjoyed by seven people like myself. But I can’t wait.

The date also sees the release of DreamWorks Animation’s Shark Tale. It looks funny.

John Travolta and Joaquin Phoenix in Touchstone’s Ladder 49 looks more like a rental for me.

October 8th

Taxi – a remake of a very popular comedic French action film. Luc Besson had his hand in the original and the only reason I’m interested is because Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant wrote it. If you’ve never seen MTV’s late, lamented, hilarious sketch comedy show from ’94,

The State, then by all means head over to
http://www.statemedia.net and educate yo ass!

Stage Beauty stars Claire Danes and Billy Crudup. It only opens in New York but it looks interesting.

October 15th

Team America: World Police is more inspired lunacy from the creators of South Park. It’s a political satire, an action movie satire, and it’s all filmed with marionette puppets. I’m looking forward to it…wow! a liberal that can laugh at jokes aimed at his viewpoint! Amazing! (A mustard-stained Michael Moore puppet is but one of the celebs they poke fun at.)

The Final Cut stars Robin Williams. Set in a time when people can opt to receive an implant which will record their entire lives, Alan Hakman (Williams) is a “cutter” — a video editor who compiles the memories of the deceased. On his latest assignment, he finds information about his own life that puts him in danger. Sounds interesting and I’m glad he’s still in drama mode. The last thing we need is more comedies from him.

Eulogy (limited release) – Three generations of a wacky family come together for the funeral of their patriarch (Torn), whereupon a laundry list of secrets and lies comes to the surface.

Stephen King’s Riding The Bullet (limited release) – October 31, 1969: College student Alan Parker (Jackson) looks to hitch a ride to go see his dying mother (Hershey) in the hospital. A ’58 Plymouth Fury, driven by a stranger with a link to Parker’s youth, stops to pick him up.

October 22nd



Surviving Christmas – Depressed record exec Drew Lathem (Affleck), recently dumped by his girl just before Christmas, returns to his family home and asks the family who now lives there to take him in for the holidays. Little does he know that the family’s mental state is much more unstable than his … Production problems aside, I hope this is a black comedy for the holidays. I fear that Christmas With The Kranks will be as lame and watered down as it seems from its inital trailer, but perfect for viewing on tbs.

The Grudge – An American nurse (Gellar) living and working in Tokyo is exposed to a mystery virus, one that locks a person in a powerful rage before claiming their life and spreading to another victim. This remake of the popular Japanese horror film Ju-On: The Grudge (complete with the same director) looks spooky enough and this will be Sarah Michelle Gellar’s first lead film role. With Sam Raimi producing, I’m eager to see what’s creeping about. However, I’d like to see the original first. Sorry, just a habit of mine.

Alfie – Jude Law takes on Michael Caine’s iconic role as a ladies man. The dapper bachelor has the single women of New York all in a tither but his playboy days may be behind him when one of his many girlfriends winds up pregnant. Once again, I’d like to see the original. Charles Shyer makes his big-budget return to the cinemas and we’ll see if he can surpass the haul his ex-wife (Nancy Meyers) got for What Women Want.

The Machinist – Head on over to http://www.themachinistmovie.com. Take a look at the trailer. Be amazed at Christian Bale’s weight loss for this role. Prepare for a creepy night at the movies.

Undertow – If you’re tired of lame movies about love and romance, then by all means check out David Gordon Green’s All The Real Girls. It is a breathless, warm, cold, utterly aching film with amazing work by Zooey Deschanel. Green returns with this set-in-the-South tale (filmed right here in Savannah) about two brothers fleeing their crazy uncle. Plus Shiri Appleby!

October 29th



Saw – If you love horror movies, get your tickets promptly. Advance word is this is an utterly fucked-up movie: With a dead body laying between them, two men (Leigh Whannell and Cary Elwes) wake up in the secure lair of a serial killer who’s been nicknamed “Jigsaw” by the police because of his unusual calling card. Danny Glover co-stars as a beleaguered detective. Check out the trailers at http://www.apple.com/trailers or visit the official website (I hate the official film websites that only consist of “click here for more Shockwave and Flash animation”; give me *some* substance! I got halfway through and couldn’t advance any further! If anyone has any details, let me know!) at http://www.sawmovie.com

And remember, if you need any Firefly or Serenity goodness, then surf on over to http://www.serenitymovie.com or http://www.fireflyfans.net. You’ll be glad you did.

Alright, time to hit the hay in a little bit. Nite all and hopefully work won’t be too taxing in the A.M…..

Jason

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