Happy birthday to me!…

Art by Sam Brown; Visit his website at http://www.explodingdog.com

Art by Sam Brown; Visit his website at http://www.explodingdog.com

Well I’m twenty-three now. I hope the rest of the year and the next finds myself, my family and friends, and anyone who may perouse this blog well.

I’ve been having headaches recently, along with various other aches and pains and it seems like this morning before work, while I was showering, I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath. I blinked and all of a sudden I was sitting in the tub, water spraying on my face. However I didn’t hurt my back or my head. I wasn’t in any pain. I noticed a slight bruise on my right leg but other than that, nothing apparent. So in other words, I blacked out in the shower, I guess. This is just another lovely addition to the odd asortment of maladies I’ve been facing for the past few months. I believe I need new glasses (hopefully the reason I’ve been having headaches and my left eye twitching off and on now and then) and either insoles in my shoes or new shoes because our work only has carpet slapped onto a hard floor. This said floor is what I think has caused my left ankle to hurt when I walk on it from time to time. Not daily but every once and again. So long story short my ass will be seeing a doctor tomorrow. I’m through joshing and joking around. I want myself fixed up nice and proper so that I can return to my regular, healthy cynical, sarcastic, witty video store clerk self.

So we’ve started DVD trading at work. It’s an ingenious concept…depending on your outlook. I’ve still got $31 and some change on my account. You get $5 store credit for every DVD you trade in. They must be in mint condition and in their original packaging. I’ve picked up The Manchurian Candidate (1962) for $7.99, Alex Proyas’s excellent sci-fi noir Dark City and tomorrow I’ll be picking up something a customer traded in today: the short-lived live action adaptation of The Tick that ran on FOX for barely a minute. We get paid Friday and I hope it’s a nice sized check. I hope my time-and-a-half from Thanksgiving helps out at least a bit.

I think either my DVD player or my television is going out. I’m getting fading every once and again. So I think when I come into some extra spending $$$, I’ll get a small flatscreen and a decent name brand DVD player that won’t break the bank. Here’s a helpful hint consumers…don’t buy Goldstar, Apex, or any of those brand names you’ve never heard of yet the player’s priced so attractively. Nine times out of ten they’ll break sooner than you think. I can’t count the number of times a customer’s come in complaining about how their DVD won’t play and when pressed on the issue, it’s usually one of the off-brand DVD players they’ve got (unless the DVD’s scratched…or they’re playing it on a PlayStation 2)

I am also quite irate that Mike Nichols’ new movie Closer is not going to be released here this weekend. However our fair city will be receiving the Nicole Kidman starrer Birth and director Walter Salles’ The Motorcycle Diaries. It’s about a young Che Guevara and his trek through Mexico with a friend while he was in his twenties. The film, released by Focus Features, is produced by Robert Redford. So I may check out one of those this weekend. I will be staying far, far away from Alexander. Perhaps a rental is in the offing for that particular title.

Blade Trinity opens this Wednesday and to say I’m so there is quite the understatement. Hopefully writer/director David S. Goyer brings this trilogy to a fitful and excellent conclusion.

And now it’s time for Bitch Fest 2004. This morning’s topic? Why people with no lives! Now I have a semblance of one, it’s true. I possess a truly frightful amount of movie knowledge and am the most knowledgeable person on our staff at work. I love movies. I adore watching trailers and enjoying the cinema and all its offers. I love watching a great movie on DVD and appreciating its warmth and enjoyment. Recently I watched The Adventures Of Robin Hood, the 2-Disc Special Edition. I’ve had this sucker for a while now and finally got around to watching it. It’s a masterful piece of work, a triumph of art direction, score, set design, acting (Errol Flynn and Olivia de Havilland are simply masterful and Basil Rathbone cuts a devilish and quite debonair swath as the enemy), and heart.

But….

There is simply no way that I would be at a video store at 9:30 in the morning to rent a movie! NO WAY! People, the movie’s not going to evaporate! Every morning people are at the door waiting for us to open, I hate greeting them. Call me crazy but those first few people get my dander up. It’s like, ‘You can’t wait an hour or so?!’ Maybe I am crazy but so be it. Case in point: When Universal Pictures releases the film version of the television series Firefly, Serenity, I will be buying that. I don’t need to rush out like thar’s gold in them thar hills! Even for comedies like Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story… (street date 12/07) I don’t need to be at a video store first thing in the morning! Have some coffee, catch some breakfast, but don’t act like we’re giving away money.

Another fun facet is to watch said individuals when they see us in the store before opening and they don’t bother to read what time we do open (It’s 10AM, by the way). The customer in this situation performs what I like to call “The Arm Jerk”. They will grab the door handle and YANK on it with all of their might. It appears to be hard enough to yank their arm out of the socket.

Hey cell phones can be fun! Sure they can be a rather nice old time! Until you’re being processed at a place of business and a clerk is waiting on you! I’m sure you yap away like that when the teller gives you money at your bank, right? Because who cares if she shorts you $20, am I right? We make sure to notate on their account which cell phone customers are unresponsive during transactions. That way when they come back in complaining of late fees, we can explain what happened. When I worked at another video store, a girl came in, talking on her cell phone. It was near the holidays and she purchased $100 in gift cards. I was off the next day and one of the assistant managers told me that she’d come back the next day and said, “Um, I’m sorry, I was busy talking on my phone and I only meant to get $50 in gift cards.” The AM politely told her that we couldn’t do anything about that. So in conclusion people…PUT THE DAMN PHONE DOWN! “What do you want for dinner? Okay I’ll pick it up. Am I busy? No, I’m just getting a movie.” Yeah, and you’re pissing me off in the process. Leave some of that conversation for when you get home or is the atmosphere there too tense to try to initiate any talk at all? Sorry for the rant but it had to be addressed. I’ve got a million more. You tend to rack up millions of stories in almost four-and-a-half years of video store service. I’m telling you I need to write a book.

I’m on the last episode of Firefly. It’s bittersweet, really. After that I plan to indulge myself in all of the yummy bonus feature goodness: cast and crew commentaries, deleted scenes, an Easter egg, and then rewatch them all again over and over and over until Serenity comes out September 30th.

Well, I’m headed for bed. Off to watch Late Night with Conan O’Brien that TiVo graciously grabbed for me and Firefly. Anyone see Tom Brokaw’s last newscast tonight? What an excellent pro that man is. I’ll miss him in the anchor chair, that’s for sure. Brian Williams seems to be a great guy and he’ll no doubt do well in the spot. Anyone that’s seen him on Conan’s show knows he’s not just some pampered and preened talking head. At least on there, he comes off pretty sharp and funny.

Nite all!

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