when does the bullshit end?!

HONESTLY?!?!?!

A FUCKING LIAR!

That fucking lying sack of shit just keeps trotting out lie after copious lie, sprinkles references to 9/11 which has NOTHING to do with Iraq, and then attaches a crappy recruitment plea at the end. Your lame empty rhetoric is tired and old, asshole. Bring our boys and girls home. Be an actual human being for once…not that you know what that’s like…and actually admit your mistakes. Yeah, that’ll happen like I’m going to sleep with Angelina Jolie tonight.

And another big fuck you to MSNBC and Chris Matthews. What’s a great place to hold a town meeting? A coffee house? A restaurant? An auditorium? NOPE. Not in GE’s opinion. Nope, let’s hold it at a Baptist church in Nashville, TN! Yeah, that’s really fucking objective! Why not hold it at RNC headquarters?! One of these military wives was scary. If ever you saw Melanie Hutsell on “SNL” in the early ’90s, you’ve got some idea. It was all a big fucking show, with a guy screaming that senators need to go to Fallujah and see that morale’s not down among the troops, and all of these wives of soldiers who “don’t care if this thing goes another twelve years.” And then they throw a bone to two Muslim women who were very cogent, concise, intelligent, and informed. They expressed to this close-minded group that all Muslims aren’t terrorists and that bloodshed cannot bring peace. But then the Bush lovefest rolled on. These two wonderful women were the *ONLY* counterpoint in the room! Fuck you MSNBC! And if you don’t have Rachel Maddow on The Situation with Tucker Carlson tomorrow night (since you don’t have the balls to do so tonight), I’m going to be pissed. Mike Malloy will be on Air America Radio in eight minutes and I simply CANNOT wait to hear him roast this fucking hypocrite and his blind followers to shreds.

Sleater-Kinney “Entertain” music video

Good music is good food.

And now, without further ado, I belatedly present this week’s femme fatale of the week

Film Goddess

PARKER POSEY

Parker Posey’s bio at Wikipedia

She first came to prominence in the 1995 indie film Party Girl and quickly cemented herself as a terrific actress. Far too many publications deem her the “Queen of Indie” but Parker is able enough for any role, be it a small arthouse flick or as queen of the vampires in Blade Trinity or in the upcoming Bryan Singer summer blockbuster Superman Returns. Parker Posey is immensely talented and is one of my favorite actresses. Some standout work she’s done is showcased in such films as The House of Yes, Dazed and Confused (where I first saw her), and her brilliant job in the Christopher Guest mockumentaries Waiting for Guffman and Best in Show.

so…

I’m currently listening to an archived edition of today’s Morning Sedition. I’m off from work today to accomodate a co-worker who has another job. I’ll be picking up her Friday morning shift. We get paid that day and we badly need some grub in this house! Mother Hubbard’s not the only one to find the cupboard bare, let me tell you.

Well that was rather lovely. Brunch, that is.

Head on over to http://www.serenitymovie.com to discover that Serenity has received a PG-13 rating. Hopefully this means that the marketing will be ratcheting up and we might be getting an earlier release date.

I saw George A. Romero’s Land Of The Dead last Saturday night with two friends. One of them was nice enough to pay my way but we had to put up with an entire back row of fucking Neanderthals who thought any and everything was funny. Managers kept having to come in. One of my friends and a friend he’d bought left. My other friend James who’d graciously paid for me stayed, as did I. He got a refund afterwards.

Yesterday, through one of my connections, I saw the film again with my mother. It was a much better experience, although the fuckers playing with their cell phones during the trailers (*ESPECIALLY* Serenity). Look, you’re at the movie. Drop the goddamn technology and pretend that there’s something more important than your social life for more than fifteen fucking minutes.

Wednesday brings the release of War of the Worlds. Mr. Cruise, shut your cult-loving ass up please. And your publicity stunt romance isn’t helping matters. And for all of you dream-loving, starry-eyed young ladies who feel that I’m crazy and that Tom Cruise would love nothing more than to explore the vast expanse of your loins, just stop it. These ladies think that there’s simply NO WAY that he can be gay. Hell, I’d never given it much thought until recently. But all of these incidents are pretty peculiar. So for all of you females out there constructing vast fantasies involving Tom Cruise, I have two words for you: Rock Hudson. And two more: Cesar Romero. And another two: Robert Reed. So stop pretending and face reality. I’ll still see the movie. I’m hearing it’s dark Spielberg, not sappy Spielberg, which is aces in my column.

Tonight at 8 the lying monkey will stand in front of soldiers at Fort Bragg, NC and attempt to pretend like Iraq is a magical land where unicorns will flourish and many will swim in peaceful rainbow rivers if only we stay there for another century. Wrong again, asshole.

Then after you’ve laughed your ass off, tune in to laugh even harder as Comedy Central premieres, at 10:30PM…

http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/stella/index.jhtml

STELLA

Head on over to http://www.stellacomedy.com

The three gentlemen above started out on MTV’s The State sketch comedy show. If you’ve never seen, I’d hate to be you and I’m sorry. The new series, based on their comedy troupe of the same name, follows the three guys as they get into all sorts of weird and wacky misadventures. One television critic likens the series to “The Marx Brothers on acid”. All three met at NYU 17 years ago and started performing as Stella in New York in 1997 and embarked on a sold-out tour in 2003.

Well, USA Network is changing its on-air look, logo, and tagline.

USA: Characters Welcome

It looks a bit Picasso-esque, don’t you think? In any case, I’m glad to see the tired flag logo being retired. It was due for a new look. Now if only they can stop airing insipid Adam Sandler comedies and Meet the Parents ad nauseum and start investing money in more original programming and series and blending that with movies new to their network, that’d be swell. Don’t get me started on SCI FI. Besides Battlestar Galactica, that channel’s dead to me. Until they start firing corporate executives left and right (namely the evil, evil, Bonnie Hammer), SCI FI’s doomed to be the antithesis of what its namesake states.

Well, dinner’s on.

This is black market wit’s femme fatale of the wee…

This is black market wit’s femme fatale of the week

ALANIS MORISSETTE

This girl helped provide the soundtrack of my adolescence. I cannot count the number of times that I played jagged little pill. I also bought the follow-up Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie. She is a divine beauty, a true wordsmith, and one of the best musicians of our times. I plan to pick up her more recent albums, Under Rug Swept and So-Called Chaos ASAP. Her new album is a tenth anniversary re-recording called jagged little pill acoustic. The title says it all. It’s currently being sold exclusively at Starbucks but will be released everywhere in mid-July.

Alanis’s bio is at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alanis_Morissette

Sorry for the lapse in posting. I shall, as always, strive for punctuality.

My review of Batman Begins is forthcoming.

Bill Press will be starting his own liberal talk show called “The Bill Press Show” on SIRIUS Talk Left 143 on June 27th. The show will originate from the Center for American Progress in Washington, D.C. Christie Harvey from that organization will be his co-host. “The Bill Press Show” will air from 6-9AM Monday-Friday. Congratulations to Bill and I look forward to hearing his show.

I watched Once Upon A Time In America and Criminal this weekend. Both were striking and well-made. I now need to see more Leone films. Criminal is a remake of a film that was made in Argentina called Nine Queens.

I’ve become addicted to this show on ESPN Classic called Cheap Seats.

It’s two comedian brothers, the always hilarious Sklar Brothers (Jason & Randy). Basically the show is a half-hour version of MST3K using crappy sporting events from ABC and ESPN’s deep vaults. If ever you get the chance check it out. Heck, the gang from MST3K even showed up on one episode to heckle the Sklars!

http://www.cheapseats.tv

Well, TiVo beckons.

The Dark Knight has returned!…

I will be seeing this at 5:05 tomorrow afternoon and I CANNOT wait! THIS is the most anticipated movie of the summer for me and I will most definitely post a review ASAP. I even took the day off. I’ll be working on Friday, a day usually off for me, to make up the hours.

Well even though I watched it before work this morning, Netflix is sending me A Dirty Shame, John Waters’ new movie. I didn’t know I’d get to watch it today. In any case, it’s the original NC-17 version (we have the rated R version at work) and my mother hasn’t seen it so I guess I’ll let her watch it. And it’d be nice to actually sit down and watch it without work distractions.

The Machinist is winging its way towards me! Netflix sent it Monday so hopefully it’ll be in the mail tomorrow. One can hope anyway.

TiVo has become a fall’s harvest worth of television bounty. I really need to get around to watching it all.

Head on over to Ain’t It Cool News.

They have all the details on just how bad Fox is planning to ruin X-Men 3.

At MSN Movies, they have a link for Jim Jarmusch’s upcoming Bill Murray film Broken Flowers. It looks suitably quirky and I look forward to seeing it.

The heat here is going to become depressingly opressive. It’s simply disgusting! The high tomorrow is forecast to be 96 degrees! Air-conditioned movie theater, bucket of popcorn, and soda, here I come!

If you get IFC, then by all means be on the lookout for Z Channel: A Magnificent Obsession. It’s a fascinating look at an innovative pay cable network in L.A. in the late ’70s-mid ’80s. Check it out.

I think I’ll also see Mr. & Mrs. Smith this weekend as I keep hearing stellar things, both from film critics and friends.

see this guy?…

He’s not the manager of a restaurant. He’s not some black sheep cousin kept locked in a back bedroom somewhere. He’s Howard Dean. The Democratic National Committee Chairman. Got that, Nancy Pelosi? Joe Biden? John Edwards? Bill Richardson? So stop with the fucking parlor games like he’s your twelve year old son who just ruined your dinner party. The more you act like insolent little milquetoasts the more the rabid Republicans fall all over themselves pronouncing the demise of the Democratic party. So grow a fucking spine and start acting intelligent.

Dean is doing what needs to be done, behind the scenes, to ensure the party doesn’t fly right off the tracks. Act locally, think locally. In order to win, we’ve got to show up. And guess what? That means IN RED STATES also. Those who can’t see the forest for the trees need to shut up and fast.

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Well, we have DIRECTV. My IR cable came in the mail yesterday so I can now use my TiVo with my DIRECTV receiver. Joy.

Tuesday our computers at work stopped working. We were closed until 2PM. Our manager was working with me and she did not want us open while we were having technical difficulties. Cut to Wednesday. She’s out of town. The computers are down yet again. One of our senior assistant managers was working with me. So we followed her instructions. We waited and did not open the store. Technicians came to look at our system. They had to leave and pick up a part at the airport. Said part could take a long time to arrive. Another manager called and wondered why we weren’t running manually(!). You know, as in…write down all the transactions, etc. We explained our manager’s instructions. So lo and behold, our district manager who’s in Memphis for a conference calls and basically tells our senior AM to go manual. Our senior AM left messages on our manager’s cell phone telling her how his hand was being forced. God forbid we lose several hours of money! So we were manual for about an hour, then the techs returned and balance was quickly restored an hour and a half later but not before we had to check in and run an obscene amount of DVDs, VHS tapes, and games. So we finally opened with all systems running at 5PM. Let’s just say Wednesday was hellish and I had a few choice expletives I was eager to try out. And when our manager returns, she will be twelve kinds of hot over this, mark my words.

walmartmovie.com is the website for director Robert Greenwald’s latest documentary Wal-Mart: The High Price of Low Cost. It will FINALLY shed some light on just how evil Wal-Mart is, from their predatory business practices to their anti-union, anti-employee policies.

with further ado i present to you…

this week’s black market wit friday femme fatale…

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL

Check out Maggie’s bio at http://www.wikipedia.org

Her resume at IMDb is located at http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0350454

She’s an awesome actress who always embues each character she portrays with just the right amount of pathos, exuberance, and emotion. Maggie Gyllenhaal is one of, or dare I say, is the biggest actress around in my eyes. I’d rather watch Maggie in a scene than the same old boring Nicole Kidman movie with all of its mundane minutae.

Maggie Gyllenhaal has two new movies coming soon…Happy Endings and The Great New Wonderful. I am really looking forward to seeing what’s in store for Maggie Gyllenhaal and I can’t wait to watch her career flourish.


This week’s Friday Femme Fatale….

This girl’s awesome! Give her show a listen if ever you get the chance. It’s like a mini-meal on the radio, a pick-me-up before breakfast. It’s mandatory. Rachel Maddow is continuing to bring the fight to the crazy right-wing loons and for that she’s aces in my book.

RACHEL MADDOW
Rachel Maddow hosts Air America Radio’s national morning drive news program, “The Rachel Maddow Show.” Launched in April 2005, “The Rachel Maddow Show” airs weekdays 5AM-6AM (Eastern) on the Air America Radio network in New York, Los Angeles, Miami and many other markets, as well as nationally online and on XM and Sirius Satellite Radio.

Rachel has a Doctorate in Politics from Oxford University and a degree in Public Policy from Stanford. She was the first openly gay American to win a Rhodes Scholarship.
Her background is in commercial radio (WRSI, WRNX) and political activism. Rachel is a founding member of several HIV/AIDS activist groups, and is an expert on US prison conditions.
Prior to launching “The Rachel Maddow Show,” Rachel co-hosted Air America’s “Unfiltered” with Chuck D and Lizz Winstead.
Perhaps more importantly, Rachel knows how to make a “Pegu Club Cocktail,” enjoys appearing on right-wing TV shows as the smiling-but-obstinate liberal, loves her parents, and thinks AMTRAK hot dogs are a national treasure.
She lives in Western Massachusetts and New York City, with her partner, artist Susan Mikula, and their loyal and well-behaved companion animal.
And as always, you can download all Air America Radio programming at http://www.airamericaplace.com

that’s right, bitches…

I’m dropping mad love, as the kids say, for IFC.

Also, fuse kicks MTV’s lame ass. They have this girl VJ Juliya who is funny, opinionated, and oh so very hot. She reminds me of great VJs from MTV’s past like Kennedy and Alison Stewart, only with looser lips. fuse is like the early ’90s version of MTV when they managed to balance the pop videos with the rap and rock and had witty, well-informed VJs. Now good luck if any of the Neanderthals in MTV’s teeny-bopper cocoon know what the hell a music channel’s supposed to be. And bullshit reality shows about fucking debutantes and ignorant teens dating are nowhere to be

found! Instead, guess what’s there? MUSIC! And I love their slogan!… fuse – more music than the leading brand. YES! And it’s so very true.
Well, DIRECTV is all hooked up in my room. But I’ve still got to somehow sync up my TiVo with the DIRECTV as I seemingly have to change the DIRECTV channel, then the channel on TiVo in order to record something. True, DIRECTV will auto-tune your TV to whatever program you want but I’m not going to be home always. So I have some technology tinkering to do. Wish me well.
I get paid tomorrow. Said money’ll be gone ASAP for bills though. As long as I get a meal from Quizno’s and get to save a bit to see Batman Begins on the 15th, I’m stellar.
We have Wonka Bars at work now. If you receive a “Golden Ticket” in your wrapper, you win $10,000. And yes, this is a promo (duh) for the upcoming film Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I think Nestle has re-worked the recipe for the chocolate bar because the last time I tried one, I was unimpressed. It’s a chocolate candy bar with Graham cracker bits and is quite delicious. The old bar had the cracker just lining the bottom and was not that great. The new, improved Wonka Bar is simply a Crunch bar, it seems, with the crisped rice being replaced with said bits of Graham cracker.
Well, I have a dishwasher to load and a TiVo to try to get to work.
I brought home Criminal and David Gordon Green’s Undertow from work. I anticipate great things.
Netflix shipped my movies today. Hopefully they’ll arrive Saturday. I reported The Aviator lost as I mailed that one last Friday and they’ve *still* yet to receive it. I’ll be getting the horror film Dead End which I’ve heard great things about. Ingmar Bergman’s Persona would be next but I’m in a horror movie groove all of a sudden.

we’re getting DIRECTV…

through BellSouth, that is. The cool thing is it’ll be cheaper this way. Cheaper than Comcast. Cool channels we’ll be receiving include Rainbow Media’s fuse (a music video channel that plays music videos! Imagine that!) Their website’s at http://www.fuse.tv – now if only they could fix the formatting on their website, Fox Movie Channel, Turner Classic Movies (older cinema rocks! I love this channel dearly!), and the one and only channel I’ve been missing since we first ditched DIRECTV in 1999….

IFC tv. uncut.

The Independent Film Channel!

http://www.ifctv.com

Fuck you, lame-ass HBO playing Starsky and Hutch seven hundred times a day! This channel lives and breathes cinema and me just visiting the website this evening shows just how much love this channel has for its namesake genre. Not only does the channel itself keep the fans in the know and up-to-date with a blog on the site, the fucking GM of IFC has a blog. This is from his May 19th post…

______________________________________

Now, unable in a 24/7 digital word to rest on our laurels, we ask ourselves, “What’s next?” For the IFC team it’s our next big on-air festival, PULP MONTH, coming June 1.
We’ve got a great Pulp title filled with blood, guts, and sex every damn night in June – all shown uncensored, unedited and uncut. We’ve got the network premieres of Reservoir Dogs, Jackie Brown and Blade Runner. We’ve got a Pulp-homage starring Greg the Bunny and Warren the Ape – “Fur on the Asphalt.” We worked our collective asses off putting this fest together, so (as Mr. Blonde might say) circle your friggin’ calendars and stay tuned to this site for more about Pulp Month.
But, here’s the thing: Every exhibitor worth a sh*t needs to hear from their customers. We already know what we like, but what do YOU wanna see? We get phone/email requests all the time for specific film titles. But we’re looking for the next big, on-air film-cult-fest to end all fests.

Here are a few fests we’ve got in the works:
GOD SAVE IFC: July 9. A night of Punk film, featuring SLC Punk, The Filth and Fury and Punk Attitude – our new doc from Don Letts. Also, the world-premiere of “Jesus of Suburbia” – the IFC mini-movie based on the nine-minute Green Day song.
SPAGHETTI WESTERN MONTH: September. It’s got a world premier documentary, “The Spaghetti West,” and four Spaghetti Western classics.
INDIE SCREAMS: Every Halloween. Self explanatory, no?
INDIE ROCKS: Traditionally in November. Last year, we featured a Spinal Tap Marathon.
QUEER CINEMA: 2006. Self explanatory, no?

We’ve got some more brewing, but our PR group tells me to save some news for the press. Besides, a little mystery is a good thing, right?
So, all you armchair programmers out there, I’ve shown you mine – now show me yours. What do YOU want to see? Tell me what you’d put on if you had the proverbial keys, and maybe – just maybe – we can make it happen.
Three rules (the same rules apply for our staff):
Be as vociferous as you feel fit – but don’t sh*t on someone else’s idea.
Think big, and then be realistic – we cannot DO EVERYTHING. Believe it or not, we do have budget restraints.
This is a brainstorm – we are inviting you in to our process. These ideas may be used, they may not – either way, no crying!

Looking forward to hearing what you all think.

e

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By the way, Rainbow Media also owns IFC. Now then…anyone that still wants to tell me that a channel can’t remain devoted to what it was created for can officially kiss my ass.

Would Bravo play Dogtown and Z-Boys, The Vanishing (1988), Love Liza, and Cherish?

Can one turn on TNT and watch the 1953 French film The Wages of Fear (remade, of course, in 1977 by William Friedkin as Sorcerer) or Roman Polanski’s 1962 directorial debut Knife In The Water?

And all of these films…every single last one….is commercial-free and unedited. That’s IFC for you. They don’t fuck around, hence their slogan: IFC – tv. uncut.

I’m most eager to see Z Channel: A Magnificent Obsession. It’s about a pay cable channel that existed in L.A. in the late ’70s/early-mid ’80s that basically was like The Criterion Collection on television. Want to watch an awesome three-hour French New Waves film at 3AM? Feel like discovering a movie to fall in love with? That’s what that channel was like, apparently. It folded after the station manager killed his wife and committed suicide. But one of legendary director John Cassavetes daughters, Xan, has made this documentary. In its own way, I like to think IFC is carrying on what Z Channel was, albeit in a much larger scale.

Also, we’ll be getting Boomerang. It’s Cartoon Network’s home for all of the cartoon classics and some forgotten gems. Here’s their site…

http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/boomerang

On the Netflix queue…

* Infection – creepy Japanese horror movie set in a hospital

* A Tale of Two Sisters – allegedly really scary Korean horror film

* Persona – an Ingmar Bergman film. One of his best, I hear. I can’t wait to find out.

It’s time for bed. I just hope I can use my lovely, beautiful TiVo with DIRECTV and that when I come home at 6 tomorrow, it’s all installed and ready and raring to go. One can hope, anyway…